Reviews, Commentary and Opinions on Midwest Craft Beer and Microbreweries

August 4, 2008

Beer Diary:

Books ’n’ Beer

Get your ass metaphysically schooled with some Beer Dorks recommended reading.
by Eddie Glick

I like my beer like my women: pale, strong, full-bodied, and extremely bitter.
Contact Eddie»
As you can probably guess, I choose what books I like to read by how smart they make me look while reading them. If I’m feeling vastly superior to those around me, I’ll sit out on the door step with a giant-ass copy of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, Ulysses, or Remembrance of Things Past. And if I really want to blow some bourgeiouse (did I spell that right?) minds, I’ll go all Infinite Jest on their asses. Feeling inferior yet?

All kidding aside, books are a great source for all kinds of knowledge, and that includes the best kind of knowledge of all (no, not porno, Baby-boy): beer knowledge. Which is why I’d like to point out our library section, if you haven’t had a chance to stumble across it.

There you will find all the tomes of arcana that has helped us Beer Dorks become world famous beer dorks. I’m serious. We had a hit from Australia once.

The latest addition to the library is Beer & Philosophy a series of essays examining the philosophical and metaphysical questions of everyday life—if our everyday lives involved us being professors of philosophy at schools with lots of leaves on the ground. Only two of the essays are written by beer people—Brooklyn Brewery brewmaster and author of The Brewmaster’s Table Garrett Oliver, and Dogfish Head founder Sam Calagione—with an excellent foreword by the late, great Michael Jackson, but the rest of the entries are no less worthy of a good read. They are, in fact, legitimate examinations and arguments of some of the classic philosophical tenets, all approached in a beer-centric way.

So the next time you want to make yourself look even smarter than you are (if that is, indeed, possible), grab a copy of Beer & Philosophy, settle into a corner table at the local bar, and order up a pint. If you are a man, women will think you’re sensitive and intelligent, and if you are a woman, men will be afraid of you. (And if you’re a man, other men will want to kick your ass, and if you’re a woman, other women will think you’re a bitch. Sorry, but that’s how it works.) You’ll also find out what epistemology, ontology, and metaphysics means. You may not understand the actual definitions, but at least you’ll be able to pretend like you do. (Hint: just say “existence” and “state of being” a few times. That’s what I do.)

Or you could just read it to expand your already impressive mental prowess. Plus, the next time one of your acquaintances is boring the shit out of you and everyone at the table by going on and on and on about the differences between Aristotle and Socrates, you can whip out some Nietzsche knowledge and impress everyone in the goddamn room. Just make sure to don a black beret, wear your wire-framed spectacles, and smoke a long, thin brown cigarette while you do it. It pays to be authentic, you know.

Today is the feast day of St. Arnold, patron saint of beer.

Drinkin’ And Thinkin’

Beer Dorks News

Want to know how healthy the craft beer industry is? As always, look to Portland. Craft pioneer Bridgeport announces sudden closure, adding to a growing list of PDX casualties.
Did Anheuser-Busch Chicago offer their shit beer to Cody Parkey before his missed field goal? Because that may explain why he "accidentally" biffed it.
Chicago now has the most breweries of any city in the country. Other things Chicago has the most of: murders, mobsters, and Ditkas.
Trying to spin it positive, BA releases end of year graphic. Only 5% growth in the craft sector when nearly 1000 new breweries opened? That's a collapse waiting to happen.
R.I.P. Tallgrass... another casualty as the regional/national craft beer market continues to get squeezed.
Wait... Constellation Brands cut all of the Ballast Point and Funky Buddha sales staff? They merged it with their Corona/Modelo staff?? We're SHOCKED!!!
Pizza Beer founder crying about failure of company, blames everyone else. Reminder, the beer tasted like vomit. Try having better ideas or making better products so you're not a failure.
It's Bud Light so doesn't really matter, but we expect this beer to be sitting around for awhile.
Indiana brewery to open with controversial beer names to "get the conversation going". Translation: taking advantage of serious issues for free publicity.
Hundreds of amazing beers in Wisconsin and the Cubs took back the one everyone drinks just because it exists and people have heard of it. How fitting...