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Badge Of Dishonor

Buying and drinking macro swill out of fear of looking like a beer snob is the height of dumbassery.
by Eddie Glick

I like my beer like my women: pale, strong, full-bodied, and extremely bitter.
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You know, sometimes I just don’t get people.

Over the last two weeks or so, on more than a couple of occasions I’ve come across a blog comment, a letter to the editor, or just plain heard people falling all over themselves trying to prove that they aren’t beer snobs by the simple fact that they’ve got a six pack of MGD in their fridge or they are buying a can of Coors Light instead of a tap of local craft brew.

This completely baffles me. I can understand if you have a sixer of MGD in the house because that’s all one of your friends drinks (although if that is the case, you should probably think about getting new friends) or you’re buying a Coors Light because you actually, truly like that swill (on second thought, no, I can’t understand that). What I’m talking about is people who have a sixer of shit beer on hand or order up a cold can of vaguely beer-like alcoholic water, and announce their reasoning behind it as some kind of badge to let everyone know that they aren’t beer snobs, geeks, dorks, or whatever pejorative term is in vogue today for people who enjoy craft beer.

Where did the idiotic perception that drinking locally brewed beer is patent snobbery come from?

But unfortunately for these particular people, this badge they’ve hung upon themselves doesn’t make them non-beer snobs. It makes them dumbasses.

Although I said that I was baffled by this behavior, I’m really not, because I know what these people are thinking. They’re worried that if the neighbor comes over on a nice spring day or one of their fellow bar patrons notices what they order, they might look like some yuppie elitist if all they have in the fridge or the pint they get is craft beer. Like having a sixer of Bud on hand or a tall boy of PBR on the bar somehow makes them more working class, more egalitarian. In short, not a “beer snob.”

What a load of crap. First off, you shouldn’t give a shit what other people think of you (unless they’re the Beer Dorks, of course). Secondly, where did the idiotic perception that drinking locally brewed beer is patent snobbery come from?

Once again, simply drinking craft beer is a means toward saving the world.

Regardless of its provenance, as beer dorks it’s our job to combat it. How? By going ahead and ordering that craft beer instead of a Miller Lite even though that’s what all your friends are having. (And making a mental note when you get home to look for new friends.) When you’re at the beer store, grab a sixer of the beer you want to drink, not what the neighbors or your relatives might approve of. If you’re buying beer for other people to drink, that’s a different story. But otherwise, buy the beer that you want, regardless of what others think. Because as people see others just like them buying, drinking, and enjoying craft beer, that misguided perception will begin to fade, and those that want to try a local brew but were otherwise afraid of what their peers might think may just order up a tap of craft beer instead of bland, tasteless swill.

Once again, simply drinking craft beer is a means toward saving the world … or, at least, regenerating that tenuous link between popularity and merit—where a beer’s popularity is based on its quality, not a false perception crafted by a multi-million dollar marketing campaign. Plus, when we buy locally brewed beer, we’re putting our money into our communities instead of subsidizing idiotic ads about some jerkoff who’d rather have a Miller Lite than a girlfriend (and everyone thought I was antisocial) or pumping money into a foreign-owned megabrewery even as it shuts down malt plants and lays off our neighbors to offset debt from the latest takeover.

Do the world a favor and be a “snob” tonight: drink a craft brew.